I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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