the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
