i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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