38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
