Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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