he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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