He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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