She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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