Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
