I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My vagina is officially offended.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
