This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I have aggressive nipples.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
