i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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