Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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