she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
