just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
you made out with another girl for some wings
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize