woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
