he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
