the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
