office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
