So drunk its hurt
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
