I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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