I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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