I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
