Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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