They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
