pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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