We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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