new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
