We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
