Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
