what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
