So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
