What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
