He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
