Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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