Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
