I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
