If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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