right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
