I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize