i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
