Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Randomize
