Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
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