hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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