these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
