I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
