After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
