i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
