So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize