whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
