I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
