just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
