Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
