I feel great
I just peed on a car
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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