BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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