We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize