is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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