I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize