my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
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