Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
