Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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