He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
