youre lurking in front of me
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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