Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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